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Please pause here.
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Welcome back to Pause Here, where we delve into the art and science of breathing to improve our daily lives. I'm your host, Sarah, here to guide you through the science and simplicity of breathing, meditation, and relaxation techniques that can transform your day, your health, and even your sleep. This is our first episode of 2026, which means that we are officially in the season of New Year, New Goals, New Planner, and the sudden urge to reorganize your entire personality. If you're listening, and your inner voice is screaming, make a plan, become a new person, achieve, achieve, achieve, I want to offer a gentler option.
Start with a pause, because the start of the year is tough sometimes. Take for example, this episode. It's been a little delayed. Not because I don't want to, but because I'm a human who has been procrastinating this episode for the past week.
I delayed writing it, I delayed recording it, and I even delayed editing it. So if you've been putting off a goal, a change, a habit, a conversation, a dentist appointment, literally anything, welcome.
01:35
You're in the right place. Today, we're talking about the moment right before action. The moment right before the plan becomes real. Today's episode is not about productivity.
No 5am club, no optimise your mitochondria, no turn yourself into a spreadsheet with feelings. Just you, me and the awkward little moment right before we try to change something. Because that moment matters. Here's what we're exploring.
The pause before the plan. The space between I want to and I actually did. That space can feel like a doorway or a doormat you keep tripping over. Either way, it's real.
In this episode, we'll unpack why change is so hard, even when you want it. How microhabits can make your brain go, okay fine, I'll cooperate. Why identity beats willpower in a wrestling match. How your breath can become your simplest anchor.
And how to design plans that fit your energy, not just your calendar. Let's step into the space before the plan.
02:53
So, it's a new year. You make a new plan, new journal, fresh routine, a to-do list so pretty it deserves a frame. And then, three days later, your habit disappears like a sock in the dryer. And you think, why can't I just stick to it?
But here's the truth. It's not a character flaw. It's not a moral failure. It's not proof that you're doomed to live in a perpetual state of almost.
It's brain design. Psychologists call it the intention-behaviour gap. The gap between what we mean to do and what actually survives contact with real life. A lot of behaviour change lives in what researchers call self-regulation.
The ability to line up your goals with your actions when life is loud. And the thing is, self-regulation isn't a personality trait you either have or don't have. It's a set of skills and skills get better with good systems. One of the most useful systems we've got evidence for is something called implementation intentions.
It's basically the if-then planning. You decide ahead of time what you'll do when a predictable moment shows up.
04:09
Not because you're controlling your life. Because you're reducing decision fatigue at the exact moment your brain is most likely to bail. And decision fatigue is basically what it sounds like. Every choice costs a little bit of energy.
So by the end of a long day, your brain isn't weaker, it's just spent. Which is why your 8am self makes a glorious plan. And all your 8pm self can do is order takeaway and call it a day. Your brain is not a robot.
It's more like a committee. A committee made of sleepy toddlers and stressed raccoons. Everyone has opinions, no one reads the agenda. And here's the sneaky truth.
Wanting something doesn't automatically make it feel safe. We can want to change, and still feel threatened by the change. Because change costs energy, and your nervous system is basically an energy accountant. It's constantly asking, is this safe?
Is this familiar? Is this worth the effort? So even when the plan is good, your body might respond like it's a risk. And if you've been stressed, overbooked, overstimulated or just generally alive in modern times, your system is more likely to choose familiar over ideal.
05:31
A big reason habits collapse is goal conflict. For example, you want to wake up earlier to meditate, but you also want to stay up late to decompress. And you also want to feel rested. And you also want to watch just one more episode to unwind.
Those goals fight. And when your brain is tired, it picks the easiest win. Not the best win, the easiest win. So if you've ever thought, I have no willpower, I want you to try this sentence instead.
My brain is juggling all of its needs, not failing at morality. Another major trap is that we expect progress to be a straight line, but habit science looks more like a squiggle. Change often starts strong, it plateaus, it dips, rebounds, stalls again, and then quietly becomes normal. So if your habit curve is looking a little jagged, congratulations, you have a nervous system that's extremely on-brand.
Instead of, why can't I stick to a habit? Try figuring out what would make this easier to return to. Because the real skill isn't perfection, it's the ability to return, it's the re-entry, it's the I'm back and ready to try again.
06:53
Think about it, I procrastinated this episode, but eventually I returned. Not because I suddenly became a flawless productivity angel, but because I found a way back in. One note, one paragraph, one recording session at a time. So if you're judging yourself for stopping, I want you to reframe it.
Stopping isn't the enemy, never returning is. And this is where we introduce something wildly underrated. The pause. Not the I give up pause.
The regulate then proceed pause. A pause is the moment your nervous system goes from reactive to responsive. It's where you stop negotiating with panic. It's where you stop trying to bully yourself into action.
It's where you take the time to just stop and breathe.
07:52
This brings us to microhabits. Tiny, mighty and slightly sneaky. When willpower isn't enough, we go smaller. Not because you're lazy, because your brain loves a low stakes invitation.
Microhabits are habits so small they can fit inside a breath. They're the just put on your sneakers behaviour change. Here's where tiny habits aren't just cute, they're neurologically strategic. Habits form when a behaviour gets repeated in a consistent context usually after a cue.
The cue can be a time after lunch, a place when I sit on the couch, or an existing routine after I brush my teeth. Over time, your brain starts running the behavior on autopilot, which means you need less effortful self-control. And that's the whole point. We're not trying to white-knuckle our way through 2026.
We're trying to build rhythms that carry us when motivation goes missing. A key phrase in habit science is context stability. The more consistent the when and where, the less your brain has to re-decide. Same time, same place, same cue, less decisions for your energy-efficient brain accountant.
09:13
That's why after coffee beats sometime today. Fake plans make your brain negotiate. Sometime today somehow always ends up being midnight crunch time. Clear cues make your brain comply.
If your goal is journaling every day, start with one sentence. If your goal is stretching, start with one reach. If your goal is meditating, start with one breath. A single intentional inhale.
So why does it work? Your brain responds to progress, not perfection. A tiny win still counts as a win. And a win creates momentum.
Momentum is basically dopamine with a to-do list. So instead of I have to do 30 minutes of this, we can say, can you do 2, 2 minutes, 2 breaths, 2 sips of water, 2 pages, 2 steps, 2 is a gateway number. Here's another practical tip. Do a friction audit.
If a task feels insurmountable and hard to start, try doing a friction audit.
10:29
Ask, what's the first annoying step? Because we don't usually procrastinate the whole thing, we delay the first awkward step. For me, with this episode, the first awkward step was opening a word document. Not writing the script, not speaking into a microphone, just opening a blank document.
So if your plan is to work out, the awkward step might be finding socks. If your plan is to cook healthier, the awkward step might be deciding what to make. If your plan is to meditate, the awkward step might be finding a place to sit still. So combining these together, your micro habit can be to reduce the friction.
Lay out your clothes, pre-fill your water bottle, open that notes app, set the timer, write the first sentence. We're not trying to become heroic, we're just trying to become inevitable. This leads into one of my favourite tools, habit stacking. Habit stacking is when you attach a new behavior to something you already consistently do.
After I brush my teeth, I will put on moisturizer.
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After I make my tea, I will breathe for 30 seconds. After I open my laptop, I will write one line of text. Old habit is the vehicle and the new habit is the passenger hitching a ride. No extra mental paperwork required.
And here's an upgrade if you love a plan, but life loves chaos. IF THEN PLANNING If it's 3pm and I'm feeling a slump, then I'll do 2 minutes of mindful movement. If I miss a day, then I'll restart with one breath. If I feel resistance, then I'll do a friction audit.
This matters because motivation is not reliable, but patterns are. When the cue is clear and the routine is small, follow through improves. It's not about intensity, it's all about the design. Next let's look into some identity based changes.
Stop trying and start being. Instead of I want to walk each day, try I'm someone who moves to support my mind. Instead of I should meditate, try I'm someone who returns to my breath when I'm scattered.
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It makes the habit feel more like you and not an assignment that you begrudgingly have to do. Here's why identity matters so much. Outcome goals depend on mood. I'll do it when I feel like it.
Identity goals depend on values. This is who I'm practicing being. When life gets chaotic, value-based habits tend to hold better than intensity-based ones. Because motivation is weather and identity is architecture.
When life gets stressful, identity-linked habits tend to survive better than I should do this. Because should is flimsy, but this is who I am has a backbone. What's one tiny habit that would make you feel more like yourself this week? Not the habit that would impress your imaginary audience, the one that would help you feel more like yourself.
Now, let's anchor that to the simplest ritual we have. You've taken around 20,000 breaths today. No motivational quote required. Your body has been out there doing the work.
14:21
Breath is special because it sits at the intersection between body and mind. It's automatic and also trainable, which kind of makes it like a steering wheel. When your nervous system is activated, your breath becomes shallow. When you slow your breath, your body often gets the message, OK, we're safe enough to come back and focus.
If you only remember one thing from today, let it be this. A longer exhale tends to signal safety. You don't have to force it. Just soften it.
Like you're fogging up a window. Gently. Here are two breath rules you can use in the wild of life. The first is the Psychological Psi.
It's basically a double inhale and then a long exhale. And it can help when you feel keyed up. The second is simply extending the exhale. Inhale for 4 counts.
Exhale for 6 counts. But here's the key. Extending your breath doesn't make your problems disappear, but it makes you feel more capable of facing them.
15:37
So when you feel that planning pressure rising, that I should have already started tension, that I'm behind stress, breathing is how you return to the present. This is why breath works so well as a pause button. Not because it's magic, because it's measurable. When you slow down and lengthen the exhale, you're giving your body a cue that it can downshift.
And when the body downshifts, the mind gets a little more access to choice. Not perfect choice, just more room to make that choice. Which brings us to designing plans that don't feel like cages. Now, let's zoom out.
A lot of planning feels like pressure. Deadlines, time blocks, to-do lists that seem to multiply every time you blink. But there's another way to plan, and it feels more like tending to a garden. Responsive, seasonal and kind to yourself.
You don't just add habits, you redesign the environment your habits live in.
16:53
Plan for energy, not just time. Ask, when do I feel most clear? When do I feel most tender? When do I need more support?
And then build around that. Because the goal isn't to become more like a machine, it's to become more like you, with more smiles and fewer stress spirals. This tip is for January, because January plans are often written by our most optimistic selves. They read, in 2026 I will become a person who meal preps, runs daily, learns Italian and has perfect boundaries.
Meanwhile, your nervous system is saying we almost had a breakdown over which cereal to choose last week in the grocery store. So try this, make the plans smaller than your optimism. If you think you can do 5 workouts, plan for 2. If you think you can meditate for 20 minutes, plan for 5.
If you think you can write every day, plan for the next 3 days. Then, if you do more, it feels like expansion, not failure. This also leaves room for restart ramps.
18:09
Most plans fail because they don't include a ready-baked restart. They assume perfect consistency. So design a restart ramp. For example, if I miss a day, I will do the smallest version the next day.
If I miss a week, I will return with one breath and one step. Restart ramps turn I blew it energy into I'm back again. This is the part I want baked into your January. The new year is not your only fresh start.
It's just the loudest one. You get restart points everywhere. The start of a month. The start of a week.
Every Monday morning. The next hour. The next time you stand up. The next time you take a deep breath.
So, if you missed the perfect January 1st reset, good, you've been freed from the illusion that there's only one door back in. So pick one personal restart point for this season. Maybe it's every Monday, every time you make coffee, the moment you shut your laptop, or right after you brush your teeth at night. Because the more restart points you have, the less likely you are to turn one wobble into a full blown exit.
19:29
Try ending your week with three questions. Where did I feel most like myself? Where did I disconnect? And what would help me reconnect?
That's shifting away from productivity and moving into nervous system literacy. And this is how you'll see through those big lofty goals, those 2026 January plans. One step, one breath, one moment at a time.
20:03
So here's what we've learned today. Change doesn't start with action. It starts with a pause. Microhabits are how you sneak past your brain's bouncer.
Identity makes habits resilient. Breath is the ritual anchor that turns I should into I can. And plans work best when they match your energy and include a way back. Your life doesn't need another overhaul.
It just needs a little space, a little rhythm, a little breath between the steps. Thanks for pausing here with me today. If you've enjoyed our time together, try out The Pausing Point app for more mindful rest. Why not share this episode with someone who could use a pause in their playlist?
And don't forget to follow us on your favourite podcast platforms to never miss an episode. If you want, you can also follow us on our social media platforms. We're at Pausing Point to get updates and stay connected. Next time, on Pause Here, we're going to explore how different genres of music can shift your emotions and your nervous system.
Why one song makes you feel grounded, and another makes you want to throw your phone into the sun. We'll talk tempo, rhythm, predictability, and the energy setting that music creates.
21:34
Now, we'll finish this episode the same way we always do, with a guided meditation. If you're somewhere safe to rest, feel free to settle in and get comfortable. If you're driving, remember to keep your eyes on the road, but this can still be done as an eyes-open practice.
Pause Before the Plan Meditation
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This is the pause before the plan.
Step 1
Arrive. First, just arrive where you are. No fixing, no optimising, no performing calm.
If it feels good, let your shoulders gently drop, millimeter by millimeter. Unclench your jaw. Soften your forehead and take a deep breath in through your nose. And exhale slowly through your mouth.
One more time. Inhale and exhale.
Step 2
Name the moment. I want you to gently bring to mind something you've been meaning to do. A plan.
A habit. A next step. Not your entire life. Not your whole year.
Just one plan. One doable thing. Maybe it's starting a routine, making an appointment, sending an email, going for a walk, writing a page, editing something, or even beginning again. Let it be simple, and notice what's happening in your body as you're thinking about it.
Do you feel openness or tightness? A buzz of excitement or a feeling of dread? Whatever you notice, that's information, not a verdict.
24:11
Step 3 Meet the Resistance Kindly If you're feeling some resistance thinking about the plan, let's try to normalize it. Resistance is not laziness, it's often protection. Your nervous system might be saying, this feels hard, this feels uncertain, this feels like a lot of effort. So instead of arguing with it, let's try for a kinder lie.
Silently, you can say, of course this feels hard sometimes. Now, take a slow inhale and exhale like you're letting your shoulders melt.
25:02
Step 4, the pause before the plan. Now imagine you're standing at the doorway of the plan. You're not inside it yet. You're not actively doing it yet.
You're just at the doorway. And you get to pause there. Not to delay forever, but to actively choose on purpose. And let's practice that choice with a breath.
Inhale 2 3 4 and exhale 2 3 4 5 6. Inhale 2 3 4. Exhale 2 3 4 5 6. Inhale, two, three, four, exhale, two, three, four, five.
Notice the tiny pocket of space this creates. This is the pause. This is the bridge.
26:16
Step 5. Make it micro. Now we're going to make the plan smaller. Because small is not silly, small is strategic.
Ask yourself, what is the smallest first step I can make? The open the document step. The put on your shoes step. The set a timer step.
The write one sentence step. Let the smallest step appear. Now quietly name it. You can whisper it to yourself or just think it.
My smallest step is.
27:03
Step 6. Give it a home. Let's give that step a home in your day, a place to live. Think of something you already do.
Brush your teeth, make a coffee, feed your pet, close your laptop, get into bed, and attach your micro-step to this action. After I blank, I will blank. Give it a try. Keep it honest, keep it kind, and keep it small.
27:51
Step 7. Add identity gently. Now, we will add the identity thread. Not pressure, not a performance, just a simple reminder of who you are becoming.
Choose one of the following sentences. I'm someone who returns. Or I'm someone who supports my mind. Or I'm someone who breathes before I begin.
Or maybe I'm someone who consistently takes one small step. Pick the one that feels believable. Not perfect, believable. Take a slow, deep breath in, and on the exhale, repeat your sentence in your mind.
28:53
Step 8, Motivation Without Bullying Now a little motivation, the kind that doesn't yell at you. Imagine yourself doing your smallest step. Just the smallest one, not the entire plan, not the entire year. Visualize yourself opening up the document, putting on the shoes, filling the water bottle, setting the timer.
Feel how tiny it is, how doable, how it's not a big dramatic reinvention, just a small choice. And now take notice of that. You don't need to feel ready, you need to feel safe enough. So ask your body, what would help me feel safe enough to start?
Maybe it's more time, less pressure, a glass of water, a friend, a reminder, a breath. Let one supportive thing come to mind.
30:19
Seal it with a breath. Inhale. Exhale. And quietly, say to yourself, I don't have to do it all, I just have to return.
I can begin with one breath. I can begin with one step.
30:48
Step 10 The re-entry Now, start to come back into the room. Wiggle your fingers, roll your shoulders, notice the support beneath you. If your eyes are closed, you can gently blink them open. And carry this with you.
The plan doesn't require perfection. It requires presence. And if you procrastinate, join the club. The practice is not to never procrastinate.
The practice is simply to always return. I'm Sarah and this has been Pause Here. Welcome to 2026. Go gently, take one tiny step.
And when you forget, when you drift, when you start to stall, pause here, breathe deep and begin again.
